Be the eater. Or the eaten.

The world's first tindr for cannibals — an underserved market, frankly.
One-time use. One match. One meal. No second dates — by design.

By choosing, you accept our Terms of Serving. All matches are final.

📲 Get it now
💘

It's a match

Someone 1.2 miles away has complementary dietary requirements.

finding your other half…
"Absolutely not." — The Guardian "We are begging you to stop resubmitting this." — App Store Review Board "A bold disruption of the dinner-date space." — TechMunch "★★★★★" — Hannibal L., verified eater
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Perfectly balanced matching

Every eater is paired with exactly one volunteer. Supply meets demand. Economists love us.

📅

No ghosting

Structurally impossible. One party is fully committed and the other is extremely present.

⭐

100% retention

No user has ever come back to complain. Our churn rate is literally zero.

🥗

Dietary filters

Organic? Free-range? Gym-fed? Filter by lifestyle, marbling and years of slow cooking under pressure.

How it works

Three steps. Two people. One sitting.

1

Choose your side

Eater or eaten. This is not a spectrum and we will not be adding one. Pick.

2

Match

Our algorithm pairs appetite with availability. You get one swipe. Make it count — everyone else here did.

3

Dinner

One of you will rate the experience five stars. Curiously, those are the only reviews we ever receive.

50/50
eater / eaten split. perfectly balanced
1
average number of dates
0%
ghosting rate
4.9★
from reviewers who ordered well

What our users say

"Finally, an app that understands commitment."— Marcus, 34, eater
"I just wanted to feel chosen."— Glen, 41, dinner
"We matched on a Tuesday. By Friday, he was inside me. Roughly 38% of him anyway."— Priya, 29, eater

Simple, one-time pricing

We tried subscriptions. The renewal rate was upsetting.

Appetiser

Free
  • One match. One meal.
  • Standard table allocation
  • Served with tasteful ads
MOST POPULAR — WITH EATERS

Main Course

£9.99 once. obviously.
  • Priority matching at peak hunger hours
  • Choose the wine pairing
  • Skip the small talk
  • Doggy bag entitlement

Just Desserts

£99 for the eaten
  • Legacy profile — your bio stays up forever
  • Commemorative "Chef's Choice" badge
  • Full control of the evening's playlist
  • Be remembered as delicious

Questions, devoured

Everything you were afraid to ask, answered in a way that helps nobody.

Can I use nibblr twice?
For half of our users, this question answers itself. For the other half: we admire the appetite, but it's one match per account. Deleting and reinstalling the app is considered cheating — and frankly, gluttony.
What if we both picked "eater"?
The algorithm prevents this. It happened once in 2024 due to a caching bug; the resulting standoff lasted eleven hours and was described by witnesses as "extremely polite".
What if we both picked "dinner"?
That's just two people lying down. You'll be redirected to a mindfulness app.
Is this legal?
Our legal team has asked us to describe their position as "enthusiastically theoretical". They have also asked us to stop forwarding them the matches.
Is there a vegetarian option?
Sir, this is nibblr.
Is it safe?
For half of you, statistically, yes. We do recommend telling a friend where you're going — they can have your stuff.
Do you have a referral scheme?
Refer a friend. You know which kind of friend. You know which kind of referral.

Hungry? Or feeling generous?

Either way, there's a seat at the table with your name on it.